Poems I've Written since 6/19

Zen
on June 19. © All rights reserved

Transcendence,
so close- yet galaxies away
sufferings of today
I create for myself.

Answers,
I have them all
but fear consumes me and I
collapse under the possibilities.

Interrupting,
my own sacred flow
with outside nonsense
and self destructive games.

Yearning,
for where I'm heading,
yet it seems I cannot get out
of my own damn way.

Serenity,
mine when I'm ready.
It waits quietly under
the cherry blossoms in my soul.

Questioning,
What if I was really fine?
What if things would turn out great?
What if I fulfill the life I was meant to lead?

Embodied,
My heart overflows my mind,
My feet float amongst lotus petals...
Cherry blossoms landing upon my shoulders in the breeze.









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Cherry Flavored
on June 19. © All rights reserved

Sheer blue asphalt,
Bribes me for my grass,
A room full of red rubbers,
Is all that he asks.

Mild intoxication,
In a world that's grey and square,
Purple tennor bagpipes,
Guess I could dare to share.












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Silk Wrapped Stars
on June 19. © All rights reserved


She dances,
amongst the smoke-filled
galaxies, singing
songs of freedom and pixie
sticks. Swaying
to the rhythm within.
Spreading her dreams
across the night sky
for all to feel.








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Surely I Must've Told You
on June 23. © All rights reserved

Surely I must've told you,
I can be quite the bitch,
before the sun is fully awake.
I'm gonna need a latte,
and a smile, before it's safe.

Surely I must've told you,
About my special chair,
My pouting chair... say some
But really... it's mama's nest-
happiest when full of squirming baby birds.

Surely I must've told you,
I cry when I'm tired, and
overwhelmed and I've forgotten to eat.
All i need is a hug and a sandwich,
Just remind me to take a deep breath.

Surely I must've told you,
I will entertain you endlessly,
Except when I've gotten lost-
wandered into the closet of despair,
and someone has shut the door behind me.

Surely I must've told you,
I always follow the rules, live by the law.
Except when I don't agree that is.
I always wear my seat belt, while I
am driving home to twist one up.

Surely you must've known,
I'm the most beautiful contradiction.


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Chasm
on June 23. © All rights reserved

You gave me depth...
You were the inspiration,
I craved.
My midnight liquid chaos.
My drug of choice,
A nightmare I longed to have.















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Whore
on June 23. © All rights reserved

Your pretty. fake.

empty. ((eyelashes))

D e v o u r

Me.

Calling to me...

Love me... Forever&Ever

Your tainted b_e_a_u_t_y

stains my forgotten soul.

Cry your {plastic}

t
e
a
r
s...

S h a t t e r

the *stars* you snuck into my eyes,

I was already

b r o k e n


when our hearts c/o/l/l/i/d/e/d.














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Om
on June 25. © All rights reserved

Cross-legged,

I inhale.

Toes tingling,

Belly expanding,

Heart lifting.

Exhale...

letting go,

demons diminishing,

terror trickling away...

Love overcomes me.










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Poppycock
on June 26. © All rights reserved


When your tears overflow,
I'd always want you to know,
I would be right by your side,
I'd be your safe place to hide.

Look me deep in my eyes,
Don't act like those others guys,
I should feel it in your touch,
Don't make it seem like I'm asking too much.

It shows me that I don't matter,
All in all it's just mindless chatter,
You dont see me, you just look right through,
One of these days, maybe, I'll try it on you.

Take a deep breath, fall into your body,
Dont sit there so limp, acting all snotty.
I jump and spin flips just to get you to notice
Then I'm left, disappointed... to sit on my lotus.

When you say,
"I love you" from
your head and not your heart...

Your words have no meaning to me.




























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Masquerade
on June 30. © All rights reserved


her hands

grasp

my face


molten core churning


chills of lust

excite me

thrills of you

ignite me


you're delicate

and strong....as you lean in

for the first time























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Expression
on June 30. © All rights reserved

Truth,
flows raw,
from my fingertips.

Cleansing my soul,
turning boulders to sand,
to cushion my steps to freedom.







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L i l i t h
on June 30. © All rights reserved

This dragon hides
In my soul...
Permeates my being.

Scratching
at the
stitches of my sanity.

Standing guard
of my glistening heart...
Forcing you away.

George Carlin

"George Carlin, a Grammy award-winning comedian whose routine about ``The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television'' was the subject of a U.S. Supreme Court decision, died of heart failure in California yesterday. He was 71." http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601088&sid=aBhNCT4mvLpY&refer=muse

and a quote from Carlin.....

In one of his most famous routines, Carlin railed against euphemisms he said have become so widespread that no one can simply "die.""'Older' sounds a little better than 'old,' doesn't it?," Carlin said. "Sounds like it might even last a little longer. ... I'm getting old. And it's OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won't have to die � I'll 'pass away.' Or I'll 'expire,' like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they'll call it a 'terminal episode.' The insurance company will refer to it as 'negative patient care outcome.' And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a 'therapeutic misadventure.'"


. . . . . . . . . .

I got to see old George LIVE once... it was Reno, NV....kind of a shithole setting. All in all the setting was classic. An old smokey run down casino, George and his honest, cynical wit...and me... 7 months pregnant with my first baby. It was July. It was hot....and stinky....and muggy, and I was exhausted, hating the world, and come to find out having the only contractions I would ever encounter. It was a me and George kind of a place. As for the performance...I'd seen him do better, but given everything it was perfect. My memories of it have probably changed for the better after hearing of his death.

I'm not really going anywhere with this...except to say this... George, your balls will be missed but not forgotten...you made the world a better place with your innapropriate humor... you loosened the stick that's shoved up the proverbial ass of America. Cheers!

Crickets chirping....

Well.... I have come to the conclusion that I can be a quiet person. Who'dda thunk it? And even more than that...people HATE it. They plain and simply cannot accept the quiet me. For years I have been the entertainer, and for years all those around me have been- well- entertained. Well, now that I have less chaos clogging the drains of my heart, I am at ease...learning to be at peace within my self. No longer do I feel that panic to get out of myself, to be the the distraction I was always looking for! So now, here I am, content, soaking in the sights and smells, happy to be me....and those around me are pissed! Too damn funny... I'm not saying I don't choose to be the life of the party sometimes, because hey- I can, and I'm still pretty good at it...but I'm just quietly noticing my newfound calm, and others' discomfort with it...kind of tickles my peaches ;)

Whew!

*looking around confused*

I found my way back! They can't shake me!

I've been exploring other outlets of creative expression for awhile...

check it out here if you're so inclined....

http://allpoetry.com/Lotus-Mama

crazy poetic workings of my choatic soul

But i'll try to multi-task because i fear i may have some things to say ;)

I'm a girl on a mission........

....a journey of a thousand lifetimes...

..........jump back in, sit down and fasten your seatbealts, ha!