Muck
Muck. I'm in the muck. The muck is where you get to by making bad choices- and being in the muck contributes to making more bad choices- and so the cycle starts.
Ever since the weather turned cold I have been making a lot of bad choice pertaining to food. I haven't thrown it all out the window or anything- its just been a creeping up of extra calories here and there, and of course my weight has followed suite. Blah- is a good word to describe how i feel. You know it is bad when you see a piece of chocolate ( later Christmas day ) and cringe. Yuck. My body is ready to feel clean again. Ready to receive healthy meals.
But when eating has been creeping in, a little more and a little more- now when i am trying to eat with my points range i just feel hungry! And its cold. And I'm tired. And this paper journaling makes me crazy because i just walk by the journal on the counter and reread it over and over and that reminds me that I'm hungry and that maybe i should add something else to the list. And just when I think a good day (points wise) is underway- BOOM- something comes up! Dinner out- Someones brings over a treat- My well meaning husband has a great idea for a snack.
How did I deal with that before? When i was doing so good? Rockin' it :o) I have no idea. I guess i just said no. Or maybe people were taking me really seriously because this was new and they thought it was a fragile situation so they were super supportive...hmmm i Think that has a lot to do with it. When I wasn't strong they were strong for (or with) me. But then I was strong maybe and they started to loosen up, then i started to loosen up, and then it got cold, and cloudy and the holidays rolled around and now i am feeling not strong at all. I guess more than any piece of token information i have been looking for about motivation, or will power the thing i needed to realize is that:
Right now i do not feel strong in my choice to eat healthfully, and stay within my points. I want to choose the right things to eat. I want to stay within my points. I want to lose weight. I want to keep exercising. I do need help. I do need support. I need the help that those around me gave me in the beginning. This is a slump, not a failure.
It's like swimming across a GIGANTIC pool ;o) When you first start you get to push off the wall ( Disgust, wanting to change, excitement, supportive friends and family, health concerns) But by the time you've been swimming a while you start to get tired, and your momentum is waning- if only there was another wall there that you could push off of! But why can't there be? I want to change and I know if have supportive friends and family that are here for me- all i need to do is ask. When i am doing great and chugging along I love all the cheer leading that has been coming my way. It really keeps me going strong. But right now the cheering conflicts with my personal feelings that things are going shitty- so it exacerbates those feelings even more. But what i do need is people who can help me be strong about not eating extra. I need Aaron to help me by not encouraging me to have something else when i am already done for the night, I don't feel strong enough to watch him eat something and stick with my plan of not! I need support in saying no to eating activities which i do not have the points for! (Extra dinners out) (Dessert pot lucks ; p )
I am making good choices, but now more than ever, i feel like i am swimming upstream. This is a really hard time of the year for me, and added to this hard time I have been having with food it feels almost unbearable. I need to practice saying no thank you- something i was doing great at before! I need to practice sticking up for my plan! I have come a long way and with each obstacle I am understanding more about myself, and more about the relationship I have with food, and this is bringing about changes that are life-long solutions to health, and weight loss.
I am on the right track. I just need to tighten up some bolts- and re-sell this plan to my pit crew ;o) Can you tell we've been watching Cars (and Taledega Nights for that matter) a lot?
Jackie
SW 300.8
CW 246?
Ever since the weather turned cold I have been making a lot of bad choice pertaining to food. I haven't thrown it all out the window or anything- its just been a creeping up of extra calories here and there, and of course my weight has followed suite. Blah- is a good word to describe how i feel. You know it is bad when you see a piece of chocolate ( later Christmas day ) and cringe. Yuck. My body is ready to feel clean again. Ready to receive healthy meals.
But when eating has been creeping in, a little more and a little more- now when i am trying to eat with my points range i just feel hungry! And its cold. And I'm tired. And this paper journaling makes me crazy because i just walk by the journal on the counter and reread it over and over and that reminds me that I'm hungry and that maybe i should add something else to the list. And just when I think a good day (points wise) is underway- BOOM- something comes up! Dinner out- Someones brings over a treat- My well meaning husband has a great idea for a snack.
How did I deal with that before? When i was doing so good? Rockin' it :o) I have no idea. I guess i just said no. Or maybe people were taking me really seriously because this was new and they thought it was a fragile situation so they were super supportive...hmmm i Think that has a lot to do with it. When I wasn't strong they were strong for (or with) me. But then I was strong maybe and they started to loosen up, then i started to loosen up, and then it got cold, and cloudy and the holidays rolled around and now i am feeling not strong at all. I guess more than any piece of token information i have been looking for about motivation, or will power the thing i needed to realize is that:
Right now i do not feel strong in my choice to eat healthfully, and stay within my points. I want to choose the right things to eat. I want to stay within my points. I want to lose weight. I want to keep exercising. I do need help. I do need support. I need the help that those around me gave me in the beginning. This is a slump, not a failure.
It's like swimming across a GIGANTIC pool ;o) When you first start you get to push off the wall ( Disgust, wanting to change, excitement, supportive friends and family, health concerns) But by the time you've been swimming a while you start to get tired, and your momentum is waning- if only there was another wall there that you could push off of! But why can't there be? I want to change and I know if have supportive friends and family that are here for me- all i need to do is ask. When i am doing great and chugging along I love all the cheer leading that has been coming my way. It really keeps me going strong. But right now the cheering conflicts with my personal feelings that things are going shitty- so it exacerbates those feelings even more. But what i do need is people who can help me be strong about not eating extra. I need Aaron to help me by not encouraging me to have something else when i am already done for the night, I don't feel strong enough to watch him eat something and stick with my plan of not! I need support in saying no to eating activities which i do not have the points for! (Extra dinners out) (Dessert pot lucks ; p )
I am making good choices, but now more than ever, i feel like i am swimming upstream. This is a really hard time of the year for me, and added to this hard time I have been having with food it feels almost unbearable. I need to practice saying no thank you- something i was doing great at before! I need to practice sticking up for my plan! I have come a long way and with each obstacle I am understanding more about myself, and more about the relationship I have with food, and this is bringing about changes that are life-long solutions to health, and weight loss.
I am on the right track. I just need to tighten up some bolts- and re-sell this plan to my pit crew ;o) Can you tell we've been watching Cars (and Taledega Nights for that matter) a lot?
Jackie
SW 300.8
CW 246?
posted by Kanga_Mama_22 at 12:11 PM
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